In this article, let’s learn more about the six pillars of self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden!
If you’re only going to read one book in your whole life, make it this one. If you want to become a better person and a better reader, this will force you to seek out opportunities to expand your horizons.
Nathaniel Branden’s book “Self-Esteem” goes into great detail about the subject. He looks at what makes a person feel confident and good about themselves, as well as why some people are naturally more confident and others are always afraid of what other people will think of them.
In a market where information, expertise, and originality are worth the most, having a healthy sense of self-worth is more important than ever.
In order to progress, one needs to be creative, unique, and confident in one’s own abilities. People with strong senses of self-worth are in demand as leaders in today’s modern economy.
What is Self-Esteem?
A healthy sense of self-worth—the conviction that you have a right to exist and that you are enough—is your birthright as a human being and is different from self-esteem. However, as the author shows, self-esteem is about so much more than that. Rather, it’s the conviction that we can meet the challenges of daily life and thrive as a result.
It is faith in one’s own reasoning skills and one’s own ability to deal with life’s simplest difficulties.
It is the conviction that we have earned the right to be happy and successful in life; the feeling that we have the right to say what we want and need, make our dreams come true, and enjoy the fruits of our labor.
How does one define self-esteem?
How we function at work, how we interact with others, how we handle difficulties, the paths we take in life, and the partners we choose are all reflections of our level of self-esteem.
It is possible to be a great achiever while simultaneously suffering from poor self-esteem, which can appear as an inability to enjoy one’s successes, as well as an unwillingness to accept praise from others.
Strong self-esteem shows up in assertive actions, like standing up for your own needs while still being kind to others.
Confidence in oneself is often misinterpreted as a sign of arrogance or egotism in some societies, yet this is far from the truth.. People who have a healthy dose of confidence in themselves are those who can function without any assistance and who set high expectations for themselves and others. Just as there is no such thing as too much excellent health, there is no such thing as too much self-esteem.
Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
The author outlines six pillars of self-esteem that, when practiced regularly, can have a significant impact on how we feel about ourselves and the quality of our thoughts, emotions, and interactions with the world. These six pillars contribute to higher self-esteem and are, in and of themselves, evidence of healthy self-worth. So here are the six pillars:
1. The practice of living consciously
As humans, we need to pay attention to how we spend our time on a daily basis and ask ourselves if we are merely going through the motions or if we are conscious of the areas in which we are not giving our all.
When we realize we despise our work but lack the courage to make a change, we feel a specific kind of uneasiness. Or when we are happy with our employment but not really committed to it.
If we are truly present in our interactions with others, or if we are only going through the motions, our degree of consciousness will shine through in the quality of those encounters. When we make a conscious effort to be more mindful in our day-to-day interactions, it can improve our well-being.
2. The practice of self-acceptance
Self-acceptance is the simplest and maybe the most difficult of these practices since it entails accepting every facet of one’s identity, even the parts of one’s position, one’s flaws, and one’s physical qualities that one dislikes. People who have been bullied often struggle with self-esteem issues, which can manifest as anxiety, low self-esteem, and a reluctance to stand up for themselves.
Accepting yourself doesn’t mean giving up or not trying to get better. Instead, it means admitting to yourself that you’re not doing your best, that you don’t have good management skills, that you’re disorganized, etc. Accepting that you are overweight is the first step toward beginning a weight loss and food management plan.
3. The practice of self-responsibility
You need to believe in your own ability to lead your life in a positive direction in order to feel like you belong here and are deserving of happiness. When we place blame on external factors such as the state, our parents, or even God, we destroy our own reserves of strength and dignity. You are in charge of your own well-being, the fulfillment of your goals, the outcomes of your actions, the standard of your work, your relationships, etc.
It can be challenging to develop independent thought due to the conditioning we received as children. Following the advice of psychotherapist David Deida to “act as if your parents have died even if they haven’t,” Make your own decisions about your career, values, and ambitions, and own up to your own actions.
4. The practice of self-assertiveness
The fourth pillar is being confident enough to put yourself out there, expressing your viewpoint and ideals assertively in appropriate settings (the office is not your house or a meal with friends). People who lack confidence are less likely to speak up for themselves or to defend their opinions when challenged.
The key to assertive behavior is expressing oneself boldly while still treating others with respect. We need to push ourselves to speak up, question authority, and reject negative feedback.
Those who struggle with their sense of self-worth are more likely to use a question mark at the end of their sentences to indicate facts or thoughts, or they may be afraid to take up too much room, leading them to remain silent. This is one sign of an inability to stand up for oneself. Unfortunately, certain cultures promote this form of self-suppression, and if an individual is forceful or highly values himself, he is labeled as arrogant or selfish.
5. The practice of living purposefully
One definition of a purposeful life entails the way one turns their hopes and desires into concrete steps toward actualizing those hopes and dreams. In business, this means actually carrying out the goals outlined in the company’s mission statement rather than just talking about them.
Having a meaningful personal life might include things like raising a family, spending time with friends and loved ones, becoming an expert in a pastime, etc. When we know why we’re doing something, we can be more effective and efficient.
In order to reap the benefits of this method, one must cultivate the self-discipline required to put off short-term pleasure and ease in favor of a more substantial reward in the future. This doesn’t mean that you can’t relax, but it does mean that you choose your leisure activities with purpose instead of using them as a way to avoid the discomfort of being aimless.
6. The practice of personal integrity
Having personal integrity involves always acting in accordance with our deepest values. All the components must be in place for there to be integrity. When we act in a way that goes against our better judgment, even if no one sees us, we lose some of our own respect.
Even if no one else knows, cheating, stealing, or lying can have a negative impact on one’s sense of self-esteem. Similarly, failing to maintain the ideals you preach all day in one’s treatment of employees is also a sign of a lack of integrity. Since it is possible for us to have irrational values (due to the imposition of religious or social norms), it is essential that we make conscious decisions about what we hold to be important and then act accordingly.
The relationships we have with institutions like businesses, schools, and governments can either boost or lower our sense of self-worth. It’s important to recognize that even in the most corrupt societies, there are still those who live by the highest standards of morality. Managers and educators alike need to build on their own self-confidence if they are going to convey and model that trait for their students and staff. The ideal workplace may be a place of spiritual growth for employees, where challenges, ideas, and culture can help a person grow in self-esteem and assertiveness.